DO YOU HAVE A PERSONALITY
By A. Sitaram
“Personality” and “Personality Development” have become part of the fashionable parlance in business and academic circles. Often the notion of an acquisition or possession is associated with “personality” as in the title of this article. Mere possession is felt to be not enough, and therefore, arises the need for displaying personality and comparing notes with others. Personality is one of those intangible realities eluding precise definition. Personality development on the other hand, has been described in some detail. It is seen as a measure of social recognition, of achieved status in a multiplex environment.
Rightly understood, personality development is an innate urge of every human being. It enables an individual leave a distinct imprint, all one’s own, on an ever changing society. However, there are two prerequisites for this: One must have the capacity for clear thinking, and the will to do good to society. Mistaking the pursuit of glamour for true personality development, modern man tends to ignore and forget his own familial and social obligations. Thus the was is paved for the loss of his own individual personality.
Personality development involves getting rid of limitations such as selfishness, greed and narrow-mindedness. In all circumstances one has to be level headed and alert. A problem is not truly solved when a new problem arises from the solution, as it happens when one shuts off the world from his view and focuses on oneself. That is why a man is said to have, in spiritual terms, a personality of his own only if he is broad-minded and accepts a variety of life styles, occupations and staions in life. A truly developed personality is characterised by openness and freedom.
Now it should be possible to appreciate the symbol which ancient Indian thinkers proposed for meditation and realisation.
Expression flows from impression. The scriptures are a valuable resource for impressions - ennobling ideas and exalted personages, One’s speech and behaviour necessarily reflect the kind of exposure one has had. Hence the importance of impressions.
Expression fosters personality. Since expression is an externalisation, a flowing outwards, the degree of its perfection corresponds to the benefit people around receive. This is how one becomes the centre of society’s focus.
Personality leads to popularity and success. The positive interaction of an individual personality with society at large is acclaimed as popularity and success. The latter are not goals, but rather consequences. This is what is implied by “charisma”.
WANT TO EXPRESS BETTER ?
by K.V. Satish, Singapore.
What is true of a salesman is true of all of us. If we want to bring out what we are capable of, we must first have confidence in ourselves. This does not mean valiant self-assertion. It means self-respect. How can you respect yourself, if you fear meeting other people or tremble in the presence of a trifling danger or cry before authority? We have to express ourselves but are ashamed of the diverse ideas which each of us represent. “Trust thyself”. Every heart vibrates to that iron string.
The best expression of a personality is sincerity. It will be false to say that men and women with a little crop of insincerity can have no personality. Such people are often brilliant , good at conversation and sought after on that account. But beneath the glitter one eventually detects the base metal and the attractiveness which might win permanent respect and confidence is reduced to a level of passing entertainment. It is far better to have truth in the inward parts or else how can we believe ourselves and possess the virtue of self -confidence?
Strong personalities demand a basis that is devoid of hypocrisy and shame. Sometimes during a talk we may in courtesy affect an interest we do not feel. Social conversation intensifies our aversion to such social necessities.
One of the most important factors in personality development is enthusiasm. Personality is a thing of warmth and life. You may have a noisy or quiet enthusiasm but you must have one or the other preferably the latter. Those people who freeze you on a near approach are out of question. But then what have we to be enthusiastic about you may ask. Do not be misled by the word 'enthusiasm'. If you prefer a lively interest you can use this phrase instantly. You may be enthusiastic about everything, about your life purpose, about your hobbies, games, social recreations, reading, music and your service to others. A listless mind and drooping emotion will destroy every vestige of personal influence of which you are capable. Enthusiasm, is on the other hand, will give point to every activity that engages your attention.
Lastly there is a vital association between personality and purpose. Even the social butterfly who cultivates charm and aims at social popularity has a purpose however artificially it may be conceived. This purpose gives coherence to his or her actions and imparts a quality such as it is which could not be obtained by merely drifting with the stream. This means your life has a meaning and this meaning gives colour to all you do and say. And this meaning you can easily learn if you know the basis of astrology.
So to develop a personality, self confidence, sincerity, enthusiasm and purpose are essential. We do not say that if you cultivate these qualities you will become a man of influence but we definitely say that you will be on the right road to develop the full force of personality of which you are capable. You will bring the best out of yourself not only for such realities of life as money and prosperity but for ideal things also, especially for the fine arts which minister to your happiness.
Examine any man and woman you know from the stand point of the analysis just concluded and you will find the most brilliant successes, professional, intellectual, commercial, social and even political. In every profession and trade there is a success atmosphere. Some semi-cynical people believe themselves to be above and beyond all this training. As a matter of fact, they are usually anxious to secure a distinctive position but are unwilling to pay the price of steady progress. They want to arrive by a flying leap. Avoid these people. Get in touch with better men than yourself, but strive to be worthy of your company. This is not snobbish but common sense. If you would learn a game, you do not go round the ground with a man who knows less than you. You would find a better player who can teach you.
33° To Develop Self Confidence
Keep your mind on the possibilities ahead of you. Nothing can be done to change the past, but much can be done to avert its less agreeable consequences, writes MRL Rao in his tips for developing self confidence.
1. Avoid the excessive use of measuring other people financially, mentally and morally.
2. Avoid egoism.
3. Avoid the fear of comparison, that is, the fear that you may be outclassed.
4. Avoid the repeated analysis of any depressed feeling or else it will increase depression.
5. Avoid the temptation to run away from your troubles. In-fact you cannot run away from them. They
follow your heels.
6. Avoid the idea that your case is worse than others. There is always one that is superior in agony to your
7. Learn to judge other people in the spirit of science plus appreciation. That is be exact and just.
8. Maintain a hopeful attitude in all circumstances.
9. Keep your mind on the possibilities ahead of you. Nothing can be done to change the past, but much can
be done to avert its less agreeable consequences.
10. Face the unpleasant fact with courage, never with fear.
11. There is a superior to you somewhere. Go forward until you find it.
12. Have an attitude of appreciating the achievements of the people around you.
13. Form the habit of employing your time in a definite way. Do not turn from one action to another.
14. Never dawdle over things that have to be done. Do them now, if circumstances permit. Otherwise they
will cumber your mind. As much as possible, complete every action. Do not leave things half-done.
15. Guard against indecision.Hesitation invites distraction.
16. Avoid barren reverie, you can avoid it by methodical discipline.
17. Guard yourself from excessive emotionalism
18. Make sure of a sufficient quality of sleep. This is an essential condition for keen sensation and capacity
for attention.
19. From time to time have a mental spring cleaning. Make an examination of conscience, taking account of
your purposes, and other progress.
20. Most of our knowledge comes through sight and hearing. The full activity of these senses is an important
element in mental growth.
21. In mental sphere as well as in the physical we reap what we have sown.
22. To attain permanent success, there must be a balance between character and intellect.
23. Your body at any period of your life is the outcome of your past. If you have been born of a good
stock, and obeyed physical laws, you are likely to posses a fine constitution and a healthy mind. But if
there is weakness in heredity and if in addition you have lived carelessly, neglecting the laws of physical
hygiene your body will contain the evidence of your conduct. Your body is your History.
24. The like of the above may be said concerning your mind. It you have reached your prime you have a
mind which is the outcome of your natural ability, and small or great, plus the use you have made of your
opportunities. If you are lazy mentally, if you have depreciated the value of your native talent and if you
have lost opportunities by indifference to the chances that have met you on your way, yes, you have
weak mind.
25. When an inborn gift is brought into operation by strenuous effort and fine sensibility is found in union,
with great diligence, then, you have a mind that has developed new powers of work as well as a mind
that gathered the fruits of culture. Your mind is your History.
26. The self sacrifice which makes you to renounce your immediate personal interest for what you believe is
a higher good is really your self- expression.
27. Without memory, there can be no intelligence. Improve your memory power.
28. Only by the realisation of yourself can you attain to the foremost rank of success. It is safe to assert that
never since the beginning of the world have any two men or women possessed precisely the same
characteristics, you are unique and in that very fact Ries your value to society.
29. In the world of business, in the world of art, in the world of thought, in the world of pleasure, every day
and on every hand one great cry of need goes forth, the cry of originality. If only you would hear it
aright, it is the cry of the world for you. Arise, awake, strive to reach the goal.
30. Unsuspected perhaps by yourself there is in you, some power, some combination of qualities which no
one but you, yourself, possess. The world wants you to use that power, those qualities for its benefit.
Because you alone can fill this need, the world will pay you, generously to do so.
31. It will have little use and still less pain for you if you permit your originality to remain inarticulate.
32. Be faithful to your self in all situations.
33. Fidelity to yourself is a higher duty and obedience may be as meritorious in a position of comparative
obscurity as it is in a hall of fame. Be aware and alert in every activity which promotes well being of the
body, mind and soul and the goodwill towards humanity at large.
DO NOT BE AFRAID
You can conquer Fear
by MRL
Fear is the most dominant emotion in the human psyche. Some people have fears regarding their future, some about their health, and some about job prospects. Many people harbour fears about money, property and the welfare of loved ones. It is only by cultivating the habit of not fearing fear that one can acquire fearlessness. A lucid analysis of this fear complex is a prerequisite for eliminating fear from our minds.
In a way, fear, as a gut-emotion is more powerful than even intelligence. Very intelligence people are also defenceless against the onslaught of fear. Compared to fools and idiots, intelligent people are at a disadvantaged position because their tendency to assess experience increases their apprehensions by an hundred fold. Fear is more an instinct than an emotion and the saying “Fools rush in, where angels fear to tread" underscores the behaviour of people un-encumbered by rational thought.
Fear is an instinct man has in common with animals. Self preservation is the operative force behind it. . Fear is more like a reflex action than a coolly evolved logical thought. The background knowledge stored in the unconscious sometimes sends out fear as a signal so that adequate psychological strength can be mustered to cope with imminent or lurking dangers. Instinctual nature of fear is rooted in the instinct nature of man time and again, proved to be man’s best resource for tackling incipient threats to his safety. Fear dictated behaviour is not the prerogative of man alone. Even animals and birds that lack the developed minds of human beings, flee to safety by paying heed to “danger signals”.
The Potency of fear in human beings is greatly enhanced through the mental faculties of memory and anticipation. The modern era is an era of information explosion. Fear psychosis is now generated on a large scale by the highlighting of tragedies caused by either by the criminality of man or the calamities of Nature sensational coverage in the media is always given to human interest stories based on pain and suffering. What the primitive man feared most was the ferocity of Nature and the mystery of “Darkness. Fear of darkness made him anxious about the unknown life ‘hereafter’ and that is why his religion was primarily devoted to the observance of rites and rituals to propitiate the angry Gods, the forces of Nature. Civilised man, on the other hand, has more fears about life here than about life hereafter. His fears mostly are for materialistic concerns such as money, physical well being, popularity breakdown in relationships and career. Evolution is the fine honing of intelligence through births and rebirth against the backdrop of the instinct of fear.
Its logic is arranged in terms of man’s gain in knowledge proportionate to the intensity of his fear about survival. Fear becomes a bane only when it incapacitates man for action. When it propels man to act it has to be seen as a gift from God.
Broadly speaking, fear falls into two categories -
1) Fear of what the Future holds
2) Fear of Failure
The first seems to be most characteristic of modern man. Only his focus now is not on just survival, but on success too. Nature’s wisdom is discernible in using fear as an agent to provide protection. But for his fear of accidents man would dare to walk in the streets with his eyes closed and get crushed to pieces in no time. But for man’s fear of darkness and his instinctive wariness he would not be careful about stepping on a scorpion or a snake or of falling into a lake while walking during night time. Fear brings caution in its wake and caution saves man from many potential dangers.
What is Light in life is wisdom to the mind. Wisdom is not piled up data. It is “insight” drawn from data and correct insight always banishes fear. As long as we are ignorant of the forces of nature around us we tend to live in a state of constant fear. Unlike men, animals cannot recognise a butcher by sight. That is why, even one minute before the butcher’s knife falls on its neck, an animal or a bird can relish the food offered. They experience pain and terror only at the moment of death. But man’s panic starts in the moment of apprehending danger. That is why, when a man comes to know, because of a prediction by an astrologer or the prognosis made by a doctor, that he is going to die within a fortnight, he dies a hundred times in his imagination much before the death is supposed to occur actually. He will be in such a distracted state of mind that nothing will interest him, neither tasty dishes nor the promise of wealth.
Man’s fear increases in direct proportion to his knowledge of facts. Planning ahead is a good trait but too much planning is stupid since no one really knows what lies ahead in life. No body on this earth can foretell with accuracy what will occur, the unexpected being the most likely possibility. It is wise to live one day at a time, dealing with each problem as it arises, to the best of one’s ability. One should strive to preserve at all times, an inner calm and an outer smile. As for the immediate present, it is too close to one to allow for right perspective or judgement.
Fear of failure can take many forms. It may be fear that one may fail to make good the opportunities given or fail to win appreciation and recognition for work done. It may be fear that one may fail to win love and admiration or fear that the people one values may despise or look down upon one. There are two chief causes for this fear of failure.
1. The environment which is uncongenial or inappropriate or hostile
2. The personal equipment of mind and senses inadequate to the task of attending to the daily chores of life.
These two make us liable to be consumed by anxiety, foreboding, and worry, sap our vitality and eventually lead to the disintegration of our personality. As a result, we may lose clarity and fill to see in the right perspective either the problem, or our efforts to find a solution. We may use wrong words or take recourse to wrong words or take recourse to wrong actions. If one allows this type of blinding fear to get out of hand, it will soon corrode the psyche, and make life a hell on wheels.
Let us ask ourselves a practical question. How many tortured hours until now have we spent on illusionary fears that have no basis in tangible occurrences? Common-sense should be allowed to prevail and pre-empt the growth of such fears. Let us concentrate on our work and relaxation. Let us refuse to register in our consciousness the very existence of that which causes the reaction of fear. This is one of the methods to prevent it.
Whenever you find fear creeping in, throw it out with the dynamic power of substitution, that is, replace fear with peace. Meditate on the Eternal. Stand firm and unmoved no matter what occurs. Act as if there is no fear in you. Soon it will become a habit and the habit will become second nature.
The function of fear should be to better ones strategies for protection from possible dangers, fear should serve us, not scare us. Fear is, in the last analysis, the offshoot of ignorance. If we can accept the one existence, the Lord in us, and submit to Him, there is no cause for fear!